LoT SE: A Tour of Taitle Part2

The Law of Talos SE: A Tour of Taitle
Part 2 – The Rats of Taitle

LAST TIME ON... RP-ING WITH BLOOMBLITZ AND HAUNTER...

Haunter: Me and BloomBlitz each fought two terrible foes, and caught a Baghead and a Hero! (And a Doyo)
Bloomblitz: Um... We didn't catch Baghead and Hero...
Haunter: Then, we got chased by the EEEEEEEEVIL puppet armies on lunacy
Haunter: Pirates swung from chandeliers, and all was laid to burnination!!
Haunter: Aaaaaaaaand... Komment died.
Bloomblitz: Really?
Komment: No.
Haunter: Shut it dead man, you're not meant to be here!
*Komment poofs away*
Bloomblitz: ... Wow.
Haunter: Okay, so uh, we were running away from toys. AND during the interlude, we escaped, went to a shop, bought/looted some appropriately Steampunk-esque attire, have been hiding out in the relatively-safe Taitle Bank.

AND SO WE NOW RETURN TO OUR HEROES AS THEY COWER IN FEAR!!!!
Baghead: Speak for yourself.

*Bloomblitz is standing guard outside*
Bloomblitz: Still nothing. No sounds, no scents. This area's a ghost town.
Hero: Well, it makes sense that you probably won't be able to smell or hear them. I mean, they're toys - They could be anywhere!
Hero: In fact, I think it's more dangerous if you're standing out there - Afterall, they'll be able to see you, but we won't see them until the last second...
Bloomblitz: I could hear if an army of toys were running close by. I dunno about scents though...
*Bloomblitz looks around*
Bloomblitz: I still don't see anything...
Hero: Of course you won't - You saw how they could slip through tight gaps and cracks - In this town, they probably have an entire underground network to themselves!
Hero: Heck, they could even be using the plumbing!
*Bloomblitz begins to turn and walk into the bank*
Bloomblitz: Well then anyone got any better ideas?
Haunter: Camp out and eat pizza is the only choice we have now!!!!
Hero: ... We don't have any pizza.
Haunter: Theeeeeeeeeeeen we're doomed.
Hero: Well, Baghead's out scouting, so he’ll be back soon, and then we should probably find somewhere more uh... Secure.
*Before entering the bank, Bloomblitz glances to one side before stopping and sitting on the ground*
Haunter: More secure than a bank?! 'tis nonsense!
Bloomblitz: Hang on... I thought I saw movement.
Haunter: Really? Izzit a pizza man?!
Bloomblitz: No... Whatever it was, it’s gone now...
Hero: Weird...
*Baghead enters*
Baghead: Hey jerks, found something... Weird upstairs.
*Sudden mechanical noise is heard*
*Pause*
Haunter: I vote checking out upstairs.
Doyo: Doyo.
*Small robot comes trundling up to Bloomblitz*
Bloomblitz: It’s... One of those security robots, I believe. Wow, they are tiny.
Hero: Aww, it looks kind of cute! Do you think it got separated from a larger group?
Baghead: Cute? What do you mean cute? It's a robot!
Hero: A cute robot.
*Bloomblitz walks into the bank, the little robot following*
Bloomblitz: I hope it’s 'companions' are the same size and just as... Peaceful.
Haunter: And that, if they're bloodthirsty and malevolent, they won't be bothering us! ^_^
*Pause*
Baghead: ... That's it, I'm gonna break it.
Hero: Break what?!
Baghead: Um... The robot?
Hero: Why? He hasn't done anything to you!
Baghead: No, but he could be a spy or something.
Baghead: ... Plus, I have the urge to smash something.
Bloomblitz: Hey, if anything, he could help us by alerting us of others nearby!
Baghead: How do you know it's on our side?!
Bloomblitz: It didn't attack me.
Baghead: Of course it didn't - It's tiny! But it could be alerting its larger brothers to our presence!
Baghead: Besides, you're a dog. It's your job to detect and alert us of stuff, poochie.
Bloomblitz: ... Well... What do you guys think? Should we let it tag along, or should we get rid of it?
Hero: We keep him.
Doyo: Doyo! :3
Haunter: The rain in Spain falls mainly in the... Um... Didja say something?
*Baghead grumbles something best left unheard*
Bloomblitz: ... Well I think that means this little guy stays with us.
Bloomblitz: So... Should we head upstairs?
*Still muttering under his breath, Baghead trudges upstairs, leading the way*
*Everyone else follows*
Hero: Should we give him a name?
Baghead: It's not a him. It's and 'it'. And no. We’re not naming it.
Hero: Bloomblitz, any ideas?
Baghead: Didn’t you hear me? No!
Bloomblitz: Um... I'm not very good at names. I'd just say Robo.
Baghead: Are you even listening? I said-
Haunter: I shall call him KIMBERLEY!!!
Bloomblitz: ... No.
Bloomblitz: We'll figure out something.
Hero: Sooner rather than later - Can't have the little guy going around with no name, can we?
Baghead: Oh for crying out loud, am I the only one hear who is STILL in touch with reality?
Doyo: Doyo! :3
Haunter: Doyo huh? That sounds like a good robot name...
Bloomblitz: I'm still with Robo.
Hero: Well then - Robo it is!
Robo: BEEP.
Bloomblitz: Well well... You can talk... Um, sort of.
Baghead: Oh for the love of...
*The gang arrive at the top of the stairs, to see stains of splattered blood left here and there, an open window, a discarded (Poncey) dress, wreckage on the floor, and a hole in the ceiling*
Bloomblitz: ... Wow. What a battle this must have been.
Robo: BEEP.
Hero: That's a lot of blood... I hope whoever's dress this belonged to is alright...
Baghead: Meh, it's a tournament - For all you know, the owner of the dress CAUSED this.
Bloomblitz: That's a very fancy dress. Probably not for someone in a tournament.
Bloomblitz: ... It also looks very uncomfortable.
Hero: Definately. Wouldn't catch me wearing one of those. Too... Fwumpy.
Baghead: ... Fwumpy? Meh, whatever. Anyhow, if you think THIS is bad... Wait 'till you take a look upstairs! Oooooh boy...
Bloomblitz: Upstairs? Oh man...*Listens* Good thing this place is empty. I think.
Baghead: It sure is! But then, if anyone had been here...
Baghead: I'd have kicked their butts!
*Robo looks around, before turning back to Bloomblitz*
Robo: BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Bloomblitz: ... I think he says this place is empty.
Hero: ... You speak robot?
Baghead: Well you talk to your turtle.
Hero: Oh be quiet.
Bloomblitz: ^^' No... I'm really just guessing. I would think if there was danger he'd sound more... Paranoid.
Baghead: How could a robot sound para-
Bloomblitz: Shall we continue upstairs?
Baghead: ... Like I was about to?
*Baghead walks through a previously-locked door that he had kicked off its hinges upon first inspection*
*As they walk up the last flight of stairs, Baghead shrugs*
Baghead: Was kinda creepy going up this old unlit staircase before - All creaky and spooky and stuff.
Baghead: It was as well I was the one scouting - For I am fearless!
Hero: ... And big-headed...
Baghead: Shut up.
*Eventually, they reach an unlit wooden staircase, which has seen better days*
Robo: ... BEEP.
Bloomblitz: Um... Well said.
Bloomblitz: ... Anyone got a light?
Haunter: Ooh! Ooh! I do!
Haunter: Activate.... LUCIFERS!!!
SCRTCH
*Pause*
SCRTCH-SCRTCH
*Pause*
SCRTCH-SCRTCH-SCRTCH-SCRTCH-FWOOM!!
*Congratulations - Haunter has lit a match*
Bloomblitz: ... And you didn't set the room on fire this time!
Hero: ... This time...?
Haunter: Cool matches huh? Found 'em earlier on. In the house with the mutilated Policemen.
Haunter: AND THEY ARE MINE.

MEANWHILE
Chimbley: Oi, where me lucifers?!
Climber: Um... What?
Chimbley: Bloody thievin' psycho tourney fighters...

BACK TO TEH GANG

Baghead: And here we are - The top floor of Taitle's Bank!
Hero: ... Wow...
Bloomblitz: Woah...
Robo: ... ... ...BEEP...
Baghead: Shut up scraphead.
*The room is recently battle-damaged, bearing a hole in the centre of the floor, and is lit by two cracked circular windows*
*Opposite them, there are two bloodstained spikes imbedded in the wall, and the wall itself is stained with spurts of blood and gore*
Haunter: That's... Kinda gross.
Doyo: Doyo... >_<
Bloomblitz: Well, it is a tournament...
Baghead: Even by tournament standards though, you gotta admit - That's PARTICULARLY nasty.
Bloomblitz: Yeah... Which makes me really happy I haven't eaten recently.
Hero: Oh GROSS!! There's a couple of rats sniffing around in it!!!
Bloomblitz: I’m SO gonna have nightmares about this.
Haunter: ... My match just burnt out, and burnt my hand in doing so. It stings.
Bloomblitz: Then light another match.
Haunter: Um, I can't. I'll set them all on fire if I try.
*Bloomblitz turns to see Haunter engulfed in flames*
Robo: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
*Bloomblitz sees a fire extinguisher on a nearby wall*
Hero: Wah! Quick! Put him out!
Haunter: Wait! Not yet!
Bloomblitz: What? Why not?!
*Haunter puts down matchbox gently*
Haunter: Don't want them getting soggy. Okay, now continue. ^_^
*Hero grabs fire extinguisher and points the nozzel at Haunter*
*There's a pause, before the fire extinguisher bursts into flames*
Hero: Waaah! The fire extinguisher is on fire!
Bloomblitz: ... Well that was unexpected.
Baghead: Should have checked the label.
*Baghead points*
*Fire extinguisher is labelled 'MADE IN BRITAIN'*
Hero: ... Oh.
Hero: Emergency jettison!
*Hero hurls it through one of the windows, into the street below*

MEANWHILE

*Greg and Renfield are walking, irritated beyond belief*
Greg: I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.
Renfield: T_T
Greg: THE TOILET? YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR THAT? THE OLDEST TRICK IN HISTORY?!
Greg: UGH... I CAN'T TURN MY BACK ON YOU FOR ONE MINUTE, CAN I? AND GETTING FLATTENED BY THAT STUPID BLACK GOLEM WITH THE GRIN JUST ADDED INSULT TO INJURY.
Bomb 1: Hey, ya still got us!
Bomb 2: Yeah! We'll always be by your side!
Bomb 3: Through thick and through thin!
Greg: OH JOY. -_-'
Bomb 1: Hey... Wozzat?
Bomb 2: What's what?
Bomb 1: That big flaming mass about to impact with-
*Fire extinguisher lands directly onto Greg's head, exploding into an impressive fireball*
*As the smoke clears though, Greg is singed, but unharmed*
Bomb 1: Oh yeah! Go boss! You took it like a man!
Bomb 2: Bravo!
Bomb 3: Awesomecakes!
Bomb 2: Awesome... What?
Renfield: ^_^
Greg: CAN YOU ALL JUST CAN IT FOR FIVE MINUTES?
*Pause*
Greg: THANK YOU.
Bomb 4: Um... H-hey boss?
Greg: I SAID CAN IT.
Bomb 4: I know, but it's r-really... REALLY k-kinda... Imp-p-portant.
Greg: ... FINE THEN, I'M LISTENING.
Bomb 4: Well... You know that... Fireball, right?
Greg: ...
Bomb 4: W-Well um... You are aware that... W-Well... We contain VAST amounts of highly v-volatile gunpowder, r-r-right?
Greg: YES, BUT YOU'RE ALL PROTECTED FROM FLAMES, ENSURING THAT YOU'LL ONLY EXPLODE WHEN ACTIVATED, AND NOT BEFORE.
Bomb 4: I kn-know, and um, it's g-genius boss... E-Except...
Greg: EXCEPT WHAT?
Bomb 1: Yeah! You got a beef? Spit it out!
Bomb 4: W-Well... Um... I wasn't b-built by you. T-technically, I was looted from a n-nearby munitions f-factory by Renfield, t-to replace a bomb h-he had accidentally set off without your knowledge.
*They all turn to Bomb 4*
*Bomb 4 has a label*
*It reads 'MADE IN BRITAIN'*
Greg: ... Oh.
KA-FRAGGA-KA-FRAGGA-KA-FRAGGA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

BACK TO THE GROUP

Hero: Did you hear something?
Baghead: Nope.
Bloomblitz: I thought I heard voices...
Haunter: Um... Guys? Still burning here.
Baghead: Alright, fine! I don't want to do this, but it looks like there's only one way to solve this...
Robo: BEEP.
*Robo goes up to Haunter and its top opens up. Out comes a hose that sprays Haunter*
Baghead: ... Or there's that way.sa
*Pause*
Haunter: Ta.
*Haunter lights another match*
*A short while later, after Haunter's matches have been confiscated-*
Haunter: Jerks.
*The group discuss what to do next*
Hero: We should probably get going - Those toys may be onto us.
Bloomblitz: Yeah, but where?
Haunter: France?
Robo: BEEP?
Hero: Well, there's a lot of buildings around here... Not to mention the sewers.
Bloomblitz: Not the sewers... They smell too bad...
Baghead: I don’t see what the big deal is. We're perfectly safe where we are - No movement is required!
Hero: Baghead, they'll find us sooner or later. Or perhaps...
*Hero points to the bloodstained wall*
Hero: Whoever did THAT may return.
*Pause*
Baghead: Okay, we move out.
Bloomblitz: Yeah, but where? Just keep walking around till we find somewhere good enough to hide in?
Hero: There's nothing wrong with the sewers - I mean, sure they stink - But stinking is better than being torn to shreds, right?
Hero: Besides, in there we'll be able to navigate the entire of Taitle!
Bloomblitz: Not when you have a dog's nose. I'd rather face the shredder.
Baghead: Well, we could always use you to divert their attention whilst we make an escape.
Haunter: Senór makes an excellent point!
Hero: Baghead!!
Baghead: Relax, I was joking. But seriously, if it's down to the sewers, we're taking them. I don't give a darn about your dog’s nose - Afterall, you should technically be licking your own butt to get it clean.
Bloomblitz: Eww.
Haunter: I wasn't joking about using you to divert-
Hero: Um... Despite Baghead's blunt way of putting it, he is right - Besides, in a decadent abandoned city, it won't smell too bad - There's barely anyone left to use the toilets!
Bloomblitz: ... We'll see what happens.
Robo: BEEP.
Hero: So, to the sewers it is?
*Haunter poses*
Haunter: TO THE SEWERS INDEEEEEEEEED!!!
Bloomblitz: What is it with you and sewers anyway?
Haunter: ..................... They're cosy. :3
*The group stare at him*

*Cut to the group standing around a manhole*
*Nearby, a very burnt Renfield hits the ground, smouldering, but they don't notice him*
Baghead: Well, since Hero suggested it, I say she should lead the way this time.
Hero: What? But that's not-
Baghead: What, scared to get your trousers dirty? Scared of rats?
*Baghead promptly begins imitating a chicken*
Robo: BEEP BEEEP!
*Robo imitates a chicken as well*
Haunter: Moooooo.
*Hero sighs*
Hero: Fine, you win...
*Heaving off the manhole cover, she jumps in, followed by the ever-so-loyal Doyo*
*Taking a big gulp of air and holding her breath, Bloomblitz follows with Robo on her back*
*Flailing his arms madly, Haunter dives in*
Haunter: CAEK IZ TEH LIES!!!
*Baghead carefully approaches the manhole, leans over the side, and sniffs. Wrinkling his nose, he steps back*
Baghead: Um... I um... Oh noes! It's teh toy army! Um, fear not - I shall selflessly sacrifice myself, and prevent them from entering the sewers and chasing you down. You can thank me late-
*Fishing hook snags on the back of his jumper and pulls him in*

*Trudging through the dark sewer, Baghead kicks a rat*
Baghead: ... It stinks down here.
Robo: BEEP.
*Bloomblitz is still trying to hold her breath and doesn't reply*
Baghead: I mean, seriously. It really... REALLY stinks.
*Bloomblitz growls at him*
Baghead: What, it does! Stinks worse than that pretty boy with the guns...
Hero: You mean Skye?
Baghead: Yeah. Gay guy Skye.
Hero: Can you please just be quiet? Please? You're... REALLY getting kind of annoying.
*Bloomblitz nods*
Robo: BEEP.
Baghead: I'll only shut up if scrappy over there stops beeping.
Robo: ... ... ... ... ... ..BEEP.
Baghead: Fine, I'm gonna keep talking then.
Haunter: Does anyone here like monkeys?
Haunter: I do. They is my fwiends!
Haunter: :3
*Bloomblitz, unable to hold her breath any longer, exhales deeply*
Bloomblitz: ... Oh my gawd the stench! My nose is burning!
Baghead: Wuss.
Hero: You were complaining more than she was!
Bloomblitz: So... Any idea... Where we're going?
Hero: Not exactly. But, I figure that at the next manhole opening, we'll be able to peek out and check on our bearings. Maybe even find a shelter for non-competitors or something!
Bloomblitz: Thank goodness.
Baghead: Shelter? Non-competitors? Bearings?! Heck no! We're in a fighting tournament - We should be kicking butt!
Bloomblitz: Well... Why don't we just see where we end up?
Robo: BEEP.
Baghead: Hmph, well, I suppose there's nothing else we can-
Hero: Hold it!
*Hero halts, keeping the group back*
*Just in front of them, the sewer splits into three*
Bloomblitz: ... Great.
Robo: BEEP.
*Flicking her eyes from one tunnel to another, Hero frowns*
Baghead: What's so bad? These path probably each lead somewhere. And it's not as if we're in any particular rush or anything...
Hero: It's not just the fact that we've reached a crossroad... I'm sure I saw... Something moving.
Bloomblitz: Well I can't smell anything down here. Robo, do you see anything?
*Robo gets off Bloomblitz and goes to the entrance of each tunnel. At the middle one, Robo turns back to the group*
Robo: BEEP BEEEP BEEEEP!
Bloomblitz: ... I think he’s saying we shouldn’t go down that way.
Baghead: Um... Right. And you're trusting a tiny, ancient, primitive, steam-powered/clockwork robot of unknown origin BECAAAAAAUSE...?
Bloomblitz: I’m trusting him because-
Hero: Um... Guys?
Baghead: What now?
*Hero points at a single emerald green eye, glowing in the gloom directly ahead of them*
*Robo scurries back to Bloomblitz, who hoists him onto her back*
Baghead: ... Okay, so he saw someone over there. I'll give him that.
*Pause*
Baghead: Well, time to meet the neighbours!
Baghead: ^_^
*Baghead waves at the hidden stranger*
Baghead: Hey! Um... Whoever you are, do you know the quickest way out? If not, would you be interested in being used to mop the sewer floor?
Baghead: Please?
Bloomblitz: ...
Hero: Woah Baghead. You sure know how to win new friends.
Baghead: Heh, it's a gift...
Baghead: ... Wait, was that sarcasm?
Robo: BEEP.
Hero: Um, who are you? Don't be uh... Scared or anything - We won't harm you!
*Pause*
Hero: Me and Bloomblitz won't harm you!
Bloomblitz: Yeah! We're not competitors or anything!
???: Not... Competitors?
*Slowly, a woman limps closer. Although she's hard to make out in the dark, it's clear that one of her eyes have been bandaged over - As has most of her skin*
???: Thank goodness! I... I used to be a competitor, but then... Well, I was defeated, and ever since, I've been running for my life!
Bloomblitz: From who?
???: Pretty much everything you can imagine! I've been attacked by monsters, machines, living toys, swordsmen, a thief, even children! Can you imagine that? Psychotic children! What's wrong with this world?!
*The woman begins sobbing*
*Baghead turns to the rest of the group*
Baghead: Please don't tell me we're taking blubberchops with us as well.
Bloomblitz: ...
Robo: ...
Haunter: Blubber!
Bloomblitz: I'm staying outta this one. I already have Robo to look after.
Hero: Oh for goodness sake you guys - Can't you see? This lady's injured! We can't just leave her in the sewers - Anyone could attack her! Or worse - Her wounds could become infected with all sorts of icky diseases!
*Bloomblitz walks closer to the woman*
Bloomblitz: Would you be so kind as to tell us your name?
???: I-It's... It's... K-Kato... I think...
Kato: I can't remember though... I can't remember much of anything.
Bloomblitz: It's ok.
Hero: Well then um... Pleased to meet you, Miss Kato! I'm Hero! This is Doyo.
Doyo: Doyo! :3
Bloomblitz: Name's Bloom and this robot is Robo.
Robo: BEEP.
Haunter: I am the great and bountiful Haunter! Huzzah!
Baghead: ... I'm Baghead, great to meet you, whatever, can we get a move on already?
Bloomblitz: ... Maybe Kato knows the way?
Baghead: The way to WHERE, exactly?
Bloomblitz: The nearest manhole cover. I want fresh air more than you can possibly know.
*Hero turns to Kato*
Hero: So... Do you know where we can find a way out of the sewers? Or possibly a hospital? A hospital would be ideal for all of us.
Baghead: Except for me.
Haunter: Ditto!
Kato: W-Well... I think there... I think I remember a place like that... It was over this way.
*Kato points down the tunnel behind her*
Bloomblitz: Is there anyone else besides you down that tunnel?
Kato: N-No, I don't think so.
Bloomblitz: I'm all for fresh air and a hospital, how about you guys?
Robo: BEEP BEEP.
Hero: Definately.
Baghead: Just as long as I get to beat the snot outta someone on the way.
Haunter: FREE HEALTHCARE FOR AAAAAAAAAALL!!!


TO BE CONTINUED